Give Your Girl an Erotic Massage!!!
Suggested Types of Stimulation
Women vary in their tastes concerning G-Spot and clitoral stimulation, so you need to be attentive and listen. A common preference is for their partners to begin with gentle rubbing over the entire vulva, to follow this with clitoral stimulation, and to finish with G-Spot stimulation or G-Spot AND clitoral stimulation. Please be aware that neither clitoral stimulation nor any sort of vaginal penetration usually feels good unless a woman is already in a fairly high state of arousal. When performing genital erotic massage on women one often has a "free hand" which may be used to glide over the rest of her body, tease her nipples, massage her perineum, caress her face, form "connections" with other parts of her body.
Clitoral Stimulation: When massaging her clitoris, learn what part of it feels best to her. Going in circles around it softly and rhythmically with a lubricated finger is a good way to proceed, at least until you get more specific feedback or until you uncover something that obviously feels better. Once you find something that feels great, consistency with it is often the key to further pleasure. Some women find that clitoral orgasms feel better if their vaginas are pleasantly filled: more fingers or an appropriately-sized dildo are good ways to accomplish this, though penetration of any kind usually doesn't feel good to someone who isn't aroused, so it probably isn't what she would want you to start right out with.
G-Spot Stimulation: The G-Spot is an area on the forward wall of the vagina, just behind the pubic bone about two inches in. A woman can often tell you when you've found her G-Spot, and it often feels more "ridged" than the surrounding tissue. Pressing into it can be intensely pleasurable, but may cause a sensation of needing to urinate. Female ejaculation is sometimes a result of G-Spot stimulation; female ejaculate is NOT urine, but IS expelled through the urethra. One easy way to stimulate the G-Spot is with your (lubricated) first and second fingers together (possibly starting with just your first finger). Make rhythmic gestures inside the vagina that look like the signal to "come here". Alternatively, one can rub the G-Spot in a circular fashion. Generally, it's the pads of your fingers which are pressing into her G-Spot. Another approach is to rotate your fingers inside her vaginal barrel with even pressure against all areas of it. Be aware that the shape of the vagina changes as a woman's arousal level increases. You'll probably notice the inner portion ballooning outwards during extreme arousal, which means that your fingers will need to rotate a little farther from center in order to maintain the same pressure on the vaginal walls. G-spot stimulation usually only feels good when the woman is aroused.
Using a Vibrator: Vibrators generally work best on or near the clitoris. If the vibration is too intense, switch to a lower speed or put a cloth between the vibrator and her clitoris. It's OK to let your partner hold the vibrator. It's also fun for a vibrator to be used clitorally at the same time vaginal penetration is being performed.
Verbal and Non-Verbal Encouragement: It's helpful to encourage your partner with hot talk (possibly weaving together a verbal fantasy based on your partner's desires). Sexy and erotic complements, eye contact, etc. are also nice additions. Many sexual difficulties (especially for women, it seems) stem from worries: worrying that her partner is getting tired of pleasuring her, that she isn't coming fast enough, etc.
"Letting your receiving partner know verbally and non-verbally that you're actively enjoying giving her pleasure can be a powerful aphrodisiac for her"
Female Genital Erotic Massage
At any point during your erotic massage it is appropriate to massage the genitals if that's what you and your partner would like. Remember that you are still giving a erotic massage, and that the goal is to make you and your partner feel good. If you or your partner have an orgasm that's OK, but many people find that delaying orgasm until after the erotic massage works best. It's totally up to you and your partner.
Start by slowly and gently running your fingers around the outside of her vagina. Brush up against her vulva and labia, but move slowly. Tease her with a light touch and slow strokes. When she's ready you can move to her labia, her clitoris and/or her G-Spot. Pay attention to what she wants, and try to be in tune with how she likes to be touched.
Does Cunnilingus Represent a form of Female Genital Erotic Massage?
A pussy licking can certainly be part of a good erotic massage... But there are a few important ways the hands differ from the mouth. First, while a tongue may feel divine, it's essentially a gentle organ, and there's a limit to its strength. Women receiving a genital erotic massage with the hands can experience a huge variation in pressure There are all sorts of different surfaces on the hands, including knuckles, fingers, the edge and flat of the palm, wrists, the heel of the hand.
Furthermore, during cunnilingus hands can add a whole new dimension. For one thing, tongues don't get much of a physical workout in the real world, so sometimes they tire quickly. For a partner whose tongue gets tired, using hands can free up much-needed muscle to keep the fires burning almost indefinitely.
The Erotic Kama Sutra...
...The Yoni Massage
Yoni is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or"Sacred Temple." Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals. In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect.
Purpose
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. The Erotic Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex and is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy.
Preparation
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music , candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe.
"Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation".
Procedure:
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage. The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni (vagina) and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.
Do not mix oil-based products with latex!
Erotic Steps:
-Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving this erotic massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the effects.)
-Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.
-Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/ vagina with this finger. This is an erotic massage and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni. With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable.
-Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.
-Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality. Erotic Massage is a wonderful way of lovemaking without intercourse.
